i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
