I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
