Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
