So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize