i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
