tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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