belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
