just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
