Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
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This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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