TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
