he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
