when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
