Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
