Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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