I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
