Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
