We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
