so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
