I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
