i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize