I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
