I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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