So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
