Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
