I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize