My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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