Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
