it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
