id be glad to
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
