69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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