doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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