the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
