try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
