she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
