just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
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That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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