he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
