Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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