soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
