I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize