i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
