I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
