just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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