All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
