dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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