so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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