Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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