Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
