I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
