You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize