My Higher Power is John Stamos
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
