This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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