How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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