I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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