I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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