Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
