Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
