My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
