im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if only i could text you this smell
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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