evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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