it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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