Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
