she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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