I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
