3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
