Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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