I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
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Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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