just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
