Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
