Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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