he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
