I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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